We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
