like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
