Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
