Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
