Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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