She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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