Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we should paint friendship bongs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
