Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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