i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
