You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
