$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
