So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
