that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
