I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
