haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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