Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
