I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
