I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
