Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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