I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
