peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
