its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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