right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
