I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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