Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
