I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
