waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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