This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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