Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just want to make out with him forever
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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