So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
