I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
