I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
