I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize