She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize