I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
