***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
