Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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