i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
