Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
