I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
