yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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