I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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