He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
