gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize