The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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