so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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