kristin has been a bad kristin
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
