why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
