u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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