life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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