watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
