therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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