Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
