she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
