Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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