just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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