You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
