...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
