We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
