My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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