Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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