Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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