I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
